did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
