I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
