i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
