lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
