i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
