they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
