And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
