The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
