She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
