You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
