forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
