Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
