remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Boobs are out for the taking
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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