Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
