take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
