I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
