i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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