Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
