why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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