Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
