1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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