My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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