that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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