Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
