I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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