Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
