id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
