Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
