What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i think im in europe. pls send help
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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