so that wasnt chicken after all
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
