you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
