matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
honey bunches of taint.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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