Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
