Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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