We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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