hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
