I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
