it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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