thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
