so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
