I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just forgot I was standing up.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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