you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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