I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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