So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
