I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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