big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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