Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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