I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
