I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
