Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
