Sry I called you an 8
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Randomize
