Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
